lay hands, expletive!

I'm sorry. But when I decided to eat a tangerine I did not realize I was committing to a goddamn Odysseun endeavor. Nor did I realize that 'Odysseun' was not a word until spellcheck poked holes through my eyeballs with its rude red lines just now. IT SOUNDS RIGHT OKAY. When I set out to eat a snack I want to eat a snack, not bend over my trash can for thirty minutes peeling sticky skin off of a ball of mush. Life lesson, readers: If a produce sale sounds too good to be true, spend that two dollars on candy instead.

SO. Two days off in a row, which happens never percent of the time, means that all of my laundry is done.

Hahahhahaha.

Novio is letting me use his computer and at first I was so scared of breaking it that it just sat wherever he left it, being terrifying and threatening to spill coffee all over itself. But then I remembered that Photo Booth is a thing and got over the fear pretty quick:

Bahahahaha eff laundry. Only not really because all of my work pants smell like things that are unladylike to name so here I come, Baby Girl's Bubbles.