Let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are. To believe that you must hide all the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room. MARC HACK
I needed to read that this morning. And maybe you did too? If so, you are welcome.
What I really need to be doing this morning is studying for this test that is four hours away (even though I might as well not even study because of how brains work). But first I might go get something to eat (because of how stomachs work). Also buy a sweatshirt because it's cold and I did not pack a sweatshirt and I really would like a sweatshirt (because of how heat on trains does not work). But I am not doing any of those things right this second, because right this second I am asking myself why I painted my nails right before going to sleep last night because when is that ever a good idea? And why didn't I write more neatly when I made these flashcards? Is it because I hate me?
~
Everything you think you can't offer shows up on your face sometimes, this look that's part acknowledgement and part apology.
Sometimes in my head you are hunched over your glass at a table with your friends, like you were that one time, and everybody around is talking and having fun but you seem separate from it and maybe a little sad, (and that one time I definitely wasn't having fun because that was the time I (allegedly) (abruptly) announced that I was bored and left) and I wonder what all the bravado all the time is about.
Other times you are golden and your center is solid and I want to use the words "love" and "pure" here but I don't really know how to explain.
And just now I got this picture in my head: It's late, and we decide we want to be in the same place, and then it happens because we just stop with all the bullshit.
~
Everything you think you can't offer shows up on your face sometimes, this look that's part acknowledgement and part apology.
Sometimes in my head you are hunched over your glass at a table with your friends, like you were that one time, and everybody around is talking and having fun but you seem separate from it and maybe a little sad, (and that one time I definitely wasn't having fun because that was the time I (allegedly) (abruptly) announced that I was bored and left) and I wonder what all the bravado all the time is about.
Other times you are golden and your center is solid and I want to use the words "love" and "pure" here but I don't really know how to explain.
And just now I got this picture in my head: It's late, and we decide we want to be in the same place, and then it happens because we just stop with all the bullshit.
(That isn't even really bullshit because it isn't even really anything.)
In the meantime I'm going to keep, you know, seeing.
Because it's fun, you know, to "see" and also it is an excuse to buy new dresses.
Because it's fun, you know, to "see" and also it is an excuse to buy new dresses.
