Well, it's hot out and once again the top half of my body is a completely different color than the bottom half. Even if I wore long sleeves and no pants and walked on my hands these legs of mine would still glow like chubby lighthouses in the night.
Last year I let an Ulta coupon convince me that I am a person who can afford to spend real money on self tanner and that helped but this year I just cannot be bothered. Sometimes I halfheartedly swipe at my shins with a (much) cheaper tanner from Target, but for the most part if you need to find me just check the local sprinkler pads for the strange two-toned lady sweating to death and eating snacks out of her kid's diaper bag.
ALSO: How does anyone get anything done knowing that there are goats and ice cream cones just a train ride away? (Seriously, how? My employment is at stake here. Please help.)
