sometimes i just want to shop for thrift store cocktail dresses and wear them in hotel bars that night. 
i made a run in my hose on purpose the other day.
that same morning when i poured my coffee, i went to get the sugar and brought out the coffee filters instead.
so i re-crossed the kitchen and got out the coffee grounds and almost spooned them into my cup, but i realized what i was doing in time and thought, "i am terrible at everything" but it didn't make me sad.
i forget how to make instant oatmeal sometimes too, and once i put the milk away in the cupboard where the cereal goes and no one noticed for a long time.
that field we found, where the grass reached our waist, i thought that was a miracle.