Kind of, I am reeling, a little bit. As in let me just sit here for an hour or maybe fifty hours and stare at this wall and deal with this feeling bullshit. And by 'deal with' I obviously mean 'wait for it to go away.'
LADYBRAIN, Exhibit 42349: "Change is good, right? You may have to keep telling yourself that during the first half of the week, as you discover more and more that your lovely stability is threatened from within and without. If you keep your center, it all works out for the best. You've got to stick to your guns on Thursday and Friday, though that almost certainly means conflict, or at least a standoff. You are sure to be glad you did, though. The weekend brings a wave of good energy that helps you figure out what's really going on when communication breaks down." WHO READS THEIR HOROSCOPES FOR REAL. Not me, not since high school anyway. Wtf is my problem. And I will keep my stability, thank you. You can pry it from my cold dead probably wedding-ring-less-and-covered-in-cat-hair fingers. Although my recent efforts at keeping things the way they are in my heart area (ie, SAFE AND NOT ANNOYED) have involved involving other potential problems. Potential problems who make you feel first cute then pretty then downright irresistible and then you're like, okay thanks for the boost friend! see you never but then they still want to talk. And you're kind of not that mad about it. At all. Even though at first when you're cozied up to this potential problem you have this fleeting thought, like, sucks for that other one, this could've been him. But then it goes away and you realize it's fine/kind of awesome. But then it's a couple days later and real life is happening and you wonder if you just keep layering distractions on top of each other and what/who is underneath it all?
how many days until i don't have to take spanish anymore?
-beets. bears. battlestar galactica. sorry, it seemed like we were on kind of a roll so I thought, you know, whatever, let's go with it
-that's it
And it's being all judgmental and rude about it and I do not appreciate its attitude. And APPARENTLY 'stumbling around the financial district trying to find a cab with your walk-of-shame buddy' does not count as cardio EVEN IF you are holding all her stuff (friendship) and neither does awkward dancing in gas stations EVEN IF you are holding a lot of diet cokes (muscles) so I think I might just break up with stupid MyFitnessPal and nurture/adore my inherent squashiness like I've been doing.
Seriously, though?
What am I doing.
