My blood is probably 105% sugar right now.
Because that's what Christmas is about.
(Gaining several pounds of cookie weight so that when you go back to eating normally after the New Year you automatically lose it and fulfill a resolution. Achieving goals is really important, you guys. Remember that.)
So around this time last year my brother came to visit me and my friend and I took him out in Manhattan for his birthday. (Ostensibly. The real reason I made him come was to force him to pay for half my mom's Christmas present and to use his employee discount to get this jacket I really wanted. You wish I was your sister.) There were Santas EVERYWHERE. And none of us had any idea what was going on. Because we are uncultured and unworldly and had never heard of Santacon. We weren't near the real action but Santas and elves and some Grinches filtered in and out of the bars we perched at and my brother groped a man dressed as the Pope. And that made me happy, because for once I wasn't the one making inappropriate advances at a man of the cloth.
Anyway this year I was super excited to participate! No, just kidding. I mean I did participate and it was fun, but I did it less out of excitement and more because this is the kind of shit you get roped into when you chill with sorority girls from South Carolina. They LOVE a good crazy outfit and some dranks. The dranks would be the reason I don't have any pictures. NOT BECAUSE OF TOO MANY, or anything. But because of, you know, holding them. Also holding hands with Santas. And you really need a hand free to put your fake phone number into the Santas' phones under the name "Mrs. Claws" because, cat joke, get it. The whole thing seems kind of fratty and dumb to me and I imagine a lot of people get irritated with drunken Santas stumbling through the streets and trains BUT. I got to wear a Santa hat with a giant green glittery bow sewed on, so. Also three of us ironed "HO" on big red man sweatsuits (on top of like 3 other layers, DECEMBER IS COLD GIRLS) and some Asian tourists asked to take a picture with us. So I'm famous now. So see you losers never. I feel bad about not being able to show you guys how seriously cute I was as 1/3 of Santa's weather-appropriately-dressed hos so here is a picture of What I Wore to Take My History Final Today, featuring my lucky tie-dye that I slept in last night and yesterday's flattened curls and my legs looking really fucking weird:
I feel like that makes up for it. We STILL have no Christmas decorations up, which is especially sad when even my Jewish friends have Christmas tree pictures on their walls:
See it? Oh what? Did the really awesome birthday present I hand-crafted for her take up most of the picture? Whoops.
Hmm. What else. On Friday I spent all morning and most of the afternoon Christmas shopping and stalking the Union Square Holiday Market for free fudge while other people, like, I don't know. Went to their jobs or something stupid. It was really nice to spend a day alone because I feel like I don't get many opportunities to take myself out on special dates lately. Later we "baked cookies" to bring to a holiday party/cookie exchange right after Santacon, which somehow turned out to mean making best friends with 900,000 of Astoria's local dollar store merchants in search of a gingerbread man cookie cutter and then driving around Flushing in the middle of the night. In New Haven on Sunday night something sort of scary happened which will probably have its own post later. Monday class was cancelled which would have been nicer had it not been for kind of a sad reason so I spent all day studying, yesterday I crushed the first part of my math final and got my speech grade (100 obviously) and had the nicest friend date ever, and today I took another final and am at this very moment writing an extremely long and rambling blog instead of studying more math for tomorrow.
