March in Montauk is, as the young folks would say, such a mood.
(...are any young folks still saying that? A few months ago I went through my closet and unearthed a pair of brand-new AE leggings in a dusty rose color that I'd ordered in a size too small and never got around to returning. I thought to myself, "I know a teenage girl who would love these." Let me tell you something, I have never once in my life done a more wrong thing than forget that I'm thirty-two now and teenage girls don't necessarily think I'm cool even if I've let them borrow some books that their mom would maybe frown on if she'd read them herself. Teenage girls didn't think I was cool when I was a teenage girl, so I don't know what I was thinking. Anyway I sold the leggings to a nice lady on Mercari and used the proceeds to buy Joe a princess crown so it all ended okay don't worry.)
So as I was saying, late winter/early spring at the tippity top of Long Island turned out to be exactly as socially distant as we thought it'd be. I'm already planning a solo trip for next winter - I'm thinking January this time, just me and a stack of books and a series of hot beverages and for breakfast every morning I'll go back and see Elaine the World's Most Reluctant Waitress and this time I WILL buy a t-shirt that says "I Flip For John's Pancakes" because Diego won't be there to tell me I can't.
Speaking of Diego, we got into an argument on this trip. It was still a fantastic trip. We even extended our stay, although we left the resort and spent the last night at "Born Free Suites by the Sea" which I highly recommend for its price point off season, proximity to the ocean and to the liquor store, and the Paw Patrol beach toys in the closet. Just thought I'd share that, because you rarely see pictures of it but adult couples do in fact have arguments and still love each other so let's normalize getting pissed off and spending the night in different beds (I got the bigger better one that wasn't a pullout in the living room part of a suite but it had a toddler in it so not sure who really got the better deal there) and then spending the next morning still kind of pissed off but then sort of getting over it over the course of a few hours and some good coffee and deciding to like each other again even though the things you were pissed off about are Still Things. It helps even more to go to Montauk Brewery and drink beer out of paper cups at a playground across the street. Should I be a couples counselor? Yes I think so too.
Other than our long weekend at the beach, our days have been pretty much the same as they've been for the last year. Every single time we walk to the park I thank the baby Jesus and all of his friends for weather that's nice enough to be outside in and for playgrounds where I trust that the other parents are still being as careful as we are. (Although, you can clearly see where we've all hit our thresholds for germ control. For example, the other day a group of us somehow wound up sitting on the ground in a loose circle while a bunch of the toddlers played with somebody's Easter eggs and there were two babies there too and one of them crawled over onto the other one's blanket and I swear to Bob Dilyn those babies HUGGED and we all screeched because it was the absolute cutest and I just wish I'd gotten a photograph because everyone deserves to see fat babies bump into each other.)
People in other parts of the country and on other parts of the planet are having enormously different experiences than mine right now in this spot. (People in other parts of the city I'm in are having enormously different experiences than mine. Because that's how it always is. Because of how the world works. My goodness I am terribly smart and observant this morning.) March 2020 in New York City was a fucking trip - I remember how I felt watching the ESB blink red into my bedroom window, and so I can't blog about our weekend at the sea shore without acknowledging that the pandemic is still and always has been very real. If we're not wearing masks in these photos, it's because we're outside and are the only people around. NOT because I don't like them. Which, I do and I don't - I quite like walking down the road making faces that no one can see, but that's just me.
Look, I stayed home for literal months. Diego changed his clothes in the hallway every time he came home from work and showered before even saying hello. We didn't know anything so we had to just do everything, you know? And yes, I have Feelings about The Rules and The Way They Are Enforced But Sometimes Not, etc. But I just do my best. And I trust everyone else to also do their best, and I try very hard to remember that we all only see moments of each other's day and not the whole picture and it makes it easier to have compassion which is something I need to work on in general anyway so it's good practice. I will continue to wear a mask and stay the F away from people (Baby Joe hasn't seen her grandma or her uncle since Christmas 2019) until I'm fully vaccinated (FIRST APPOINTMENT THIS SUNDAY WHAT WHAT) and even then, you know, keep doing all the things. As we all should, because even if your cousin and your mom and you and your neighbor all had covid and "were fine," that isn't the case for everyone.
It's difficult for me that there are people who refuse to even try and understand that, but I will not use potty words. I will just let you know that sometimes, in spite of my best intentions, potty words do cross my mind.
Well this turned into something I didn't know it was going to. It feels nice to be writing aimlessly, though. I threw these photos into this draft a few days ago and thought, "I'll come back later and craft some silly little paragraphs for in between the pairs of photos because I like the way that looks."
I opened my computer to do some actual work, but nothing seemed more urgent than finishing my coffee and a blog post while Joe stands directly on top of the television and drinks too much orange juice. Actually no, that's a lie - I opened my computer to see what the weather looks like for today, and got distracted by work, and then got irritated and switched over to this. I will repeat a version of that for the rest of the day until I eventually crawl into bed to play Breath of the Wild until I pass out.
I have started going in to the office once a week, and it honestly reminds me of when I went back to work after maternity leave and going to work felt like a break. That wore off pretty quickly as I imagine it will again, but I'll enjoy the feeling while it lasts. We're not "officially" open so there aren't many people there during the day, which is extra lovely because it's nice and quiet and I actually get a ton done while I'm there. Diego has been moving his schedule around to be home with Joe on those days, but we're going to start having the woman who used to work at her daycare come watch her so we can both work AND so she can start to get used to being around other adults again. She's still got another year before preschool, and I'm not sure if I'll be ready to put her into daycare any time this year. It just... depends. Like so much else.
I was only joking before about her standing directly on top of the television but now she's dragged her little stool over to the tv stand and really is climbing up there so I should probably take her outside to climb on stuff that won't shatter or electrocute her. WHAT A GOOD MOM, I know.
