I'm going to call you Funny Bottoms from now on.

Buying new cleaning products is something that is now fun for me. Yesterday I was comparing the ingredients of two different cleansers and I realized that I was having a good time. Similarly fun purchases were: A new bath mat (because I got hair dye all over the old one and left it there anyway for weeks) and a new can opener. I can specifically remember a time in my life where I'd tell anyone who asked and a lot of people who didn't ask how appealing I found the idea of a transient lifestyle. And now look at me. Next I'll be building a very sanitary white picket fence around Diego and ironing his jean shorts. 

All this talk about cleaning products reminds me that I should really start actually cleaning something. I got up early specifically to get chores done in the morning, but I've already gotten distracted by this and I really feel like getting distracted by the Gilmore Girls for a while too. 

Have you seen Infinity Polar Bear? I went a few weeks ago and I really recommend it to everyone. Whether or not you've had a mentally ill parent, it's an extremely well-made film and definitely worth the hour and a half. (Plus, hi, Mark Ruffalo. No one needs a reason to see you.) There were times when everyone in the audience was laughing, and I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. There were other times when I'd laugh out loud into an otherwise silent theater. If you had or have a mentally ill parent it will make you feel a lot of things, is what I am saying. There were so many similarities to my own childhood that I have to admit I left the theater feeling a little bit fragile, but it was good. Since seeing this movie, I've also been thinking more about a conversation I had with a professor last semester about some pieces he suggested I consider developing more. So there's a little personal project in the back of my mind, and while I have to say that even toying with the idea of catharsis is exhausting, it's also one of those things where you're like "Yep, that is a thing that will definitely be happening and I know it in a tingly cosmic sort of way."

(Confessionlette: I am secretly worried that Becky won't do Sunday Confessions this week and my writing this in advance will be like showing up to a party that everyone else decided not to go to.) 

today our hearts won first prize

According to the zillions of HR articles in my inbox that I mostly ignore but find helpful to have handy in case I need something on my computer screen that looks important, one of the leading causes of dissatisfaction at work is a vague job description. As in, people just straight up do not know what their responsibilities are. It can lead to unhappiness, to poor performance, to termination.

Today I was talking to someone and I said, "I just wish I knew what I was supposed to do." I was referring to a relationship, not to my job, but of course relationships are work.

If you're lucky, relationships are the best kind of work. They're challenging and rewarding, they satisfy you and force you to grow. There are all different kinds, and compensation varies. Some come with amazing benefits packages. With others you get to travel a lot and there's a pool table in the break room and company-sponsored happy hours. There are temporary jobs. There are the shitty jobs that you hold onto for maybe too long. And then there's that one incredible job you had on the shore the summer after senior year, the one that so dramatically altered your life trajectory that you cannot imagine your life without having had it.

For me, relationships are hard work that I am sometimes good at when I apply myself but that I am very exhausted by. In many ways and for many reasons. So many ways and reasons.

Maybe I'm thinking about relationships a lot because an old friend is coming to visit and this particular friend is one I'm not always sure why I keep. And at the same time, is one I'm not always sure why I treat so poorly. Maybe it's because my mom and I are choosing the tattoo we're both going to get, which brings up some things. Maybe it's because in less than two weeks I'm leaving for my two-year-anniversary-BONANZA mini vacation with Diego. (This weekend we have no plans except to sit next to a pool for a little bit and go hard on Breaking Bad. I am SO EXCITED for a weekend of nothing. Italics and capitals do not come close to emphasizing how strongly I feel.)

Well THIS post sure started as an outlet for some backed-up pictures and wound up being something else entirely, now didn't it? BYE, FELICIA.

te amo a la luna

Sometimes side braids fall out and sometimes people watch you jumping around the tiny beach from the street for a long time before you notice that they're there and sometimes you spend four dollars on iced coffee at a farmer's market only to accidentally caffeinate the trees with it five minutes later. Why is spellcheck telling me that "caffeinate" isn't a word? Anyway, the thing is to wear the dresses you like even if they showcase your cankles. Now, spellcheck, I KNOW "cankles" is a word. I've known since the day I missed the ankle boat. Do you think I could ever forget standing on the shore in the rain, watching the people laughing and celebrating the delicate skinny parts of their legs as the boat sailed away from me forever? Do you?

Anyway the thing I like about this next picture is that it looks like a selfie but it isn't:

My hand was just on Diego's knee! Ha ha! Tricks! The reason I bring it up is because I'm thinking of starting a thing where instead of posting actual selfies, people post pictures that just look like they've taken them of themselves when really someone else did. FYI, I just deleted six or seven sentences wherein I elaborated excessively on this idea before realizing that maybe the computer screen is doing something to my brain because I got home from work today and decided it'd be a good time to edit all of the pictures. I didn't get very far. So instead of pictures of the Fourth of July fireworks I looked at on the Wednesday before July 4th, you can have this picture from this past Saturday morning where I think Diego looks like he's on a safari because of the temple in the background and the approaching-the-lion's-den-seriousness:

Although maybe it's less seriousness in the face of lions than it is thirstiness in the face of hotness.

He just brought me chili, so you can thank him later for ending whatever this is.

This afternoon I saw this. Today might be the day someone put it there, or today might be the day I noticed it was there. In any case - this afternoon, I saw this.