Monday, May 18, 2015

my only complaint is how cold my butt gets in the winter.




So I was just reading xoJane instead of ordering checks and cleaning the bathroom, because the comment section there is EVERYTHING, THO. And I ended up on the personal website of one of the authors and when I realized that her blog is actually just a list of things she was grateful for I said "OH ICK" out loud. Like, real loud.

I don't know. I'd pose the "What sort of person does that make me" question to you, but 1) Don't actually care because 2) I think I would have a different reaction to a blog like that if the person writing it had to actually, you know, be intentional about finding things to be grateful for. I guess what I'm trying to say is that 21-year-olds whose parents are paying for their education who get paid to write, even if it's stupid shit for the internet, make me jealous and that's why I'm here in my pitiful corner typing this right now. (I bet when you google THEIR names the internet doesn't come up with nightmarishly edited blog posts for shitty nonprofits. NOT THAT I'M BITTER.)

In other news, (Diego sent me a text that began with "In other news" the other day. And I AWWWed and cuddled my phone a little. He also texted me that he was "inches" about his wallet that we couldn't find that morning and I had the same reaction. I guess what I'm trying to say is that he learned English in sixty seconds and I probably need to just suck it up and take Spanish I for the II time and that makes me jealous and that's why I'm here in these pitiful parentheses typing this right now. PS Diego don't get mad I said that, YOU ARE MY HEART. ERES MODELO?) I spent a long time looking at this at work today. I swear on my paycheck that my original search was work-related. And had nothing to do with office chairs.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go print out the official rules list for what I can bring in to EDC this weekend. I will not spend another minute arguing with a burly security lady about my chap stick and unopened pack of cigarettes as she roughly handles my girl parts (that will be covered by a light summer cardigan, unless my stomach flattens itself in the next five days in which case I will be wearing just two tastefully placed daisies) while fifteen people slide in around me carrying cartel-scale amounts of chemicals. I will not.