"It was, I mean, not what I expected.
But it was beautiful."
United States of Tara, because I stayed at home today coloring my hair and watching things I've already watched on Netflix because those things have Toni Collette in them and because I can't pay attention to new plot points AND making sure the color lands on my head and not on the white shower curtain, why did we pick a white shower curtain? Something about department store lighting + my brain chemistry = convincing myself to buy things like white anything (it's not just the shower curtain! towels ruined by two years of Ariel hair, shirts ruined by being alive, sheets ruined by being alive AND last weekend when I laid in bed and used Teddy Grahams to scoop chocolate frosting out of the container and into my mouth while D tried really hard to look at the movie we were watching instead of at me disapprovingly), as if I am the sort of person who can keep anything pristine. And I don't mean that in a bad way, just in a regular observational kind of way. I need to USE the things around me, and nothing gets through a life of service without a few dings. Like I used to tell my friend every time we did laundry together, as I watched her sort darks and lights and can't-dry-this-in-the-dryers and she watched me (in HORROR, might I add, which was a bit rich coming from the girl who made her bed exactly never since the day I met her and once continued participating in a conversation after having gone into the bathroom to vom, sharing her thoughts in between heaves while my other friend and I just stared at each other and silently willed her to shut the door! just shut. the. door) shove all my shit into one, MAYBE two washers if I had to do towels and was feeling generous with the laundry dollars: "If it can't handle a washing machine and a dryer, then it doesn't belong in my life." Have you ever watched UST? From the same episode, I also liked this -
"Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is ask for help."