This morning I got some notices from school about next semester finally, so that's something that's back on my radar. Everything CUNY takes seventeen weeks, I'm learning, and so long periods of time pass without my thinking about school that much. And then all of a sudden I'll remember and get anxiety sternum and have to breathe into a paper bag for a while because, mywholelife. Also, this will be the fourth college I've attended in three years. My roommate/BESTFRIEND (who's getting her MSW at Columbia and is done next semester and spends her days social working babies while I make sandwiches for rich old people and Juilliard students who think that "all the deli counter's a stage") has been telling me about how her friends are applying to super intense phD programs right now. Meanwhile I'm on the phone with my high school guidance counselor trying to sweet talk him into forging my signature for me so I can avoid having to fax anything, ever, because youuuu can keep all your extra steps, Everything That Is Required of Me.
And then of course, as usual, there is that part of me that understands that there is more to life than what school you went to and the hoops you jumped through to go there and what you do for the dollars that keep you in Diet Cokes and thrift shop swag. The part that often wants to break through the concrete and burrow into whatever's under there and be as much a part of the earth as one is meant to. Which would probably kill me because that would mean I'd be breathing in dirt.
Anyway.
I didn't have to work today so after mi novio left for work I was supposed to go meet my friend in Chelsea but I got distracted by the school things and also it takes me a long time to get dressed on days where I'm not being paid to be anywhere. There is a lot of coffee to drink, friends, and a lot of my pores to examine and a lot of ass to drag. So I played with her for a little while when she got home later and ate a lot of the gingerbread men she brought home from Trader Joe's and then I went to midtown to buy dollar earrings from a nice Indian family because for whatever reason (the reason is that I'm bad at not losing things) I have twenty-nine earrings and none of them have partners. And I got really good Christmas ones for my roommates and I to wear to Santa Con this year and I restrained myself from buying all of the everything that was sparkly even though I really, really wanted to. Then I went to some other places, blah blah blah. Also this morning I learned what a "dupe" was, and on my way home I stopped to get the cheap version of the Benefit face powder I'm obsessed with but the Duane Reade by my house doesn't carry it and I didn't care enough to walk any more blocks out of my way. Because waiting for me in the princess house were endless episodes of The Office and more gingerbread men. And I had already been wearing pants for several hours and several hours is enough hours to be wearing pants for when I don't absolutely have to be wearing them. And let's talk about how, yes, obviously the Jim and Pam story line is solid gold BUT. The scene in the fifth season when Pam follows Michael out into the parking lot when he leaves Dunder Mifflin? Right in the gut. Every time.
I'm going to eat some of the massive amount of cilantro I got today and then go to sleep, because work. AND SPEAKING OF WALKING AROUND BEFORE THE SUN COMES UP I forgot to tell you guys that I stepped on a rat. A FUCKING RAT. It was awful. Obviously. I was on my way into work, walking the long way around because I don't know why that's just the way I like to go okay, and out of nowhere (nowhere = pile of trash on the street, probs) something got caught in between my feet and I stumbled a little and kind of half-screamed because I wasn't awake enough for proper screaming so it was more of a scrumble and then the rat screamed too and that's when I realized it was a rat in between the sneakers I had just bought the night before because my chucks just were not cutting it nine hours a day and I started to not be able to feel one of my toes so I had to be a grownup and spend real dollars on sensible shoes even though they're kind of ugly but not really they're just regular running shoes I just have no ankles so I look like your grandma's gym teacher. And so I bolted but also I looked around real quick and I swear to god I saw its little tail snap around the corner of whatever it ran behind. And then when I got to work the only person there yet was a person who speaks very little English and so the only comfort I got for my trauma was in a language that I am not equipped to understand and wasn't really comfort it probably just meant Good morning how are you today my you look a little crazier than usual why are you breathing so heavily that's weird.
But then a few days later I got to eat some rat cake so, worth it.
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