How did this happen. Who LET this happen.
If you happen to have noted the absence of nonsense on this part of the internet lately and have been staring at the ceiling at night, wondering and worrying and yearning, allow me to put your mind at ease - I am not too busy being a contributing human (well, I have been contributing a lot of sandwiches and jokes so there are those things) to blog. NOPE. Just making lots of poor life choices. And poor nutritional choices. And really, really enjoying it. Because of course by 'poor' I mean 'awesome' and 'hilarious.' Also I have been hanging out with this guy a lot:
True story. And I know it's kind of hard to tell when I mean things for real but this is one of those times. Not like the time earlier today when I told my boss I put meat juice in all of the vegan salad dressings to make them taste better. Although seriously, vegan things? Taste better. Oreos can do it. Step it up, everything else.
Want to hear another true story? There is an empty box of Whoppers next to me right now. I'm supposed to be Doing Things, not just Eating Whoppers and Not Wearing Pants Because I'm Inside. But it's fucking hot outside and I've done enough Things the last few days to last forever, including a few things that I keep remembering I did and having to put my head down for a few minutes wherever I am.
(Whoppers = Not Vegan, Either. But you do get your daily dose of sorbitan tristearate, I just checked.)
Just stared into space for eight straight minutes. Time to get up and be a person.
Riiiiight
now
.
