Cheap & Easy Storage DIY: Throw all that shit on the kitchen table, and then leave it there until you use it up! #pinit

I’ve been feeling for a while like my life needs some cleansing. I don’t mean my diet, necessarily, although, I mean, that IS sorely in need of some tidying. A lot of tidying. Also underneath the radiator in my bathroom. Also the one in the living room. Also, who is a real person and cleans baseboards? Anyone? Seriously?

What I really need (I have no idea what I really need, could I have chosen a more ironic literary device? Maybe, I’m not sure I’m using “ironic” correctly here or anywhere ever OH LOOK THERE’S A FLY IN MY CHARDONNAY) is some structure. The only real scaffolding I have is my job, and when I’m there I have Tasks so it’s not as easy to drift. I’m a great employee, omg. So great. Seriously.

And so, then, if time requirements and deadlines are what help me to successfully accomplish all things hideously dull for the benefit of others, doesn’t it stand to reason that those same things would help me to accomplish things that are pretty and fun and that benefit me? “Duh,” said everyone. “Duh.”

I think one of the reasons I am not a wealthy businessman is that if I asked someone to do something and then two days later they were like, “Well, I didn’t do the thing you asked me to do, but I did figure out how much of the Lorna Doone I need to bite off for optimal Nutella-jar-dipping WHILE watching forty-six and a half hours of Netflix,” I’d be like, “Wow. Amazing. That sounds way more fulfilling than whatever thing I asked you to do to that would generate more wealth for me. I’m exhausted from having this conversation, let’s take the rest of the week off.” It is bad news bears for my personal projects that I am the boss of them, LET. Me tell you.

My mental to-do list is fluid at its finest and when I do manage to get a line through something it spawns a thousand more tentacle-like tasks. It’s a lot like a video game monster, except I can’t call my brother to come kill it for me.

So I am being INTENTIONAL about the following things, or at least I am intending to:

Even though I’m far from a perfect performer in the housekeeping arena, I do make sure I maintain some semblance of a cleaning schedule because having a tranquil environment/some semblance of any routine is a huge part of what keeps me from collapsing inside myself. At the very least, the dishes are always done and things are put away. But! spring is in the air, and stuff, and so I’ve been itching to deep-clean my little home, like REALLY clean it, like dust the tops of the doorways and take to the grout with a toothbrush and re-organize my closet kind of clean it. I was (AM, okay, still really am) considering hiring a cleaning service to come in and do it for me, but I’m trying to practice being grounded and mindful (and uh, you know, budget-conscious) and I think a nice Zen day of working some Mary Poppins-level magic on my living space will be a good opportunity to do that.

As for my head space, I have the seeds of a new little personal project rattling around up there and I’m going to try to turn the fits and bursts of motivation into more of a steady(ish) stream. I think for me what that will mean is devoting half an hour every evening to just sit with it, even if all I end up doing for the entire time is just sit.

I am going to make a point to access my compassionate self, often, every day. Even if I have to push past my bitchy self to get to her. Even if she’s really, really mean. (She is.)

Finally, (did you REALLY think I could discuss cleansing without bringing food into it, I mean, have we met, have we actually ever met) I bought a juicer. And I’m not, like, “juice cleansing omg beach body lolz.” Because that’s a great way to start barreling down a very dark road, and the beast at the end of that road ruins my teeth and digestive system instead of turning into a prince and its castle isn’t even magic so there aren’t any sexy candlesticks. What I AM doing is replacing my evening bottle of Pinot with a gentle yoga routine, and for a few days I’ll be getting most of my calories from juice, because my poor baby stomach needs a breather. I’m trying to get away from the mentality of punishing my body into a shape that it isn’t. I’m really, really tired of that. I AM trying to remove some of the noise, so that I can hear her better.

I can hear her now, and she's saying, "I'm hungry. Let's go get pork buns."

I finally hit up Wayfair for a desk to put into the space Diego created in the living room when he moved the couch while I was at work a few months ago. I confess that he was right about where the couch should go (because I now have a cute little desk corner and it's very peaceful when Arwen isn't lighting herself on fire), which makes it okay for me to also confess that even though I said I liked it when he first did it, his having rotated the couch ninety degrees actually made me very sweaty and disoriented.

I also confess that the only difference between this desk and my childhood desk is that I drink a lot of wine while sitting at this one. It's still filled with coloring books (mostly actual coloring books designed for children and fat crayons) and abandoned cross-stitch projects. And I can't actually light the candle, because of Arwen and her wayward rear end. So.

Have made zero discernible dents in the piles of books I purchased last year. Lindsay. God.

My upstairs neighbors were uncharacteristically quiet on Friday night and all day yesterday. While I was enjoying the quiet, my thoughts kept creeping toward the morbid. At one point while I was vacuuming, I realized that I was silently narrating my own true-crime podcast about what might have quieted them - F O R E V E R. When I was leaving last night, I walked backwards up the sidewalk until I got to the corner store (where hours earlier, the man there sold me black market beer because who cares about laws and licenses, NOT US), because I was watching their windows for signs of movement.

They're not dead, I hear them walking around up there now.
... at least ONE of them is walking around up there.

Linking up with Becky!