why are you fixated on this hypothetical transgender attacker?

Thanksgiving? CHECK. Also I learned that the trick to blending the cranberry sauce that you brought home from work with the turkey mole that your boyfriend spent all night making is to eat it on the kitchen floor.

I was home hanging out with my mom this weekend and we decorated all the things. Unpacking terrifying ornaments from the sixties never fails to warm the cockles of my grinchy heart. And in addition to gnomes and balding angels, this year's Woodtick Christmas also features a rotating tree, courtesy of Darryl's dad who built the stand twenty hundred years before I was born. (The actual tree is courtesy of the nice men at the farm down the road who kindly cut a giant tree nearly in half for us. They also kindly let my mom and I stand by their fire while they did all the work and then kindly helped us when we tried to drive away with the emergency brake on. CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.)

DOING CHRISTMASY CITY THINGS.
Which for me includes throwing a temper tantrum at a holiday market.

I really think there's a dead person living in my building. Pun intended andI'mnotsorry. I will be sorry if there actually is a dead person, though. Yikes. There are packages in our lobby that have been there for weeks all addressed to the same person. In all likelihood somebody probably ordered a bunch of Christmas presents online and forgot to update the address in their profile, or something, but the important thing is HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO WAIT BEFORE IT'S OKAY TO START TAKING STUFF. And then if it turns out to be stuff I don't want, can I just put it back downstairs. Please email me your thoughts.

Someone give me a haircut for Christmas. KTHX.

This post isn't a real thing. But I haven't talked to the internet in a while so HI.

I ought to just stop back when I have something to say. And when my brain is not mush as a result of all of everything. I really need to go to the grocery store (because I got my roommates a milk frother and so obviously we are now out of milk) and I really need to eat something of substance and I really need to go finish shopping which I should have done today but I didn't because Netflix and I really blah blah blah. Also my fella is about to be here so I should go put on some deodorant before any of the things get done. Which they won't, I'm going to make him order off of Seamless with me for dinner so I can keep staying in bed. HOLY NOT SAYING ANYTHING STILL.

I'll be back with real things.